just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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