Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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