what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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