I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
