I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
