one two three fourrrrnication!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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