i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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