Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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