Dual....:-)
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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