Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
