when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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