I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
