Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
