your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
