she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
