I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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