Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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