I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
