oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
