I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
