Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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