That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
