When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Someone signed my nipple.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
