just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
