stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
