dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
