ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think my vagina is haunted
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
