Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
