I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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