wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
