Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
