that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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