She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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