I wanna bring you to show and tell
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
