i permit you to call me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
