How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
