the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
