Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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