help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
