Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Ladies don't puke and tell
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
