OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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