the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize