Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
