And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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