Dual....:-)
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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