??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
thus making me awesome and them whores
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
