You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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