So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
