I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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