I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
