I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
