So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize