wat bout pragnant strippers??
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
