Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
