He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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