Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
