Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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