Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
