I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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