Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
