Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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