He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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