So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
